Connecticut

We are back in New England and have been since September 1st. Everything is still so very up in the air. I guess that is the way our life is. Always wondering if what we are doing is the "right" thing for us as a family. Somehow managing to keep a float financially, although usually to my surprise.

The ride back from North Carolina was one of the most stressful experiences in my life. This from a woman that has had four births! I thought I had planned it well enough, the same old route up I95 that everyone always told us not to take. "There is always so much traffic." "It is just so stressful with all those big trucks." "It took forever just to get across the George Washington Bridge."

Well, all I have to say is YES, they were right in every respect. Of course, it was Labor Day weekend, so we saw so many many cars from just about everywhere. It really was amazing how many people we saw.

The the thing that really pushed me over the edge, (well besides the 21 month old, the 3.5 year old and the 13 year old in the car with me and for some reason we couldn't get the adapter for the laptop to work right so they couldn't watch movies), was Jesse and Huckleberry following directly behind me in a huge 24' long Budget truck with our Buick on a dolly. Now, it was Jesse's idea to take this route instead of the scenic route that we took down. He was hoping with all of his might that it would be quicker, at least somewhat. But how fast can you go with a truck that large, filled to the brim with furniture and such, with a car on a dolly? At most, 70 miles per hour, and only if you are going downhill and your wife driving in front of you isn't going slower because she doesn't notice it is a hill and she is busy trying to keep kids occupied and stop them from yelling and crying. UGH....Just thinking of it is making my palms sweat.

It took us 16 hours. Yes, we are friggin crazy.

But the nice part is that we are home. Well, sort of. We are living IN a home. A nice house with 3 bedrooms, a 2 car garage, a nice driveway, a huge yard and even an inground pool! We are even back in our hometown where we know all of the stores and a lot of the people. The awesome libraries (yes there are 2!!) where everyone knows our family. Our old homeschool community that is full of good old friends. We have even gotten to see my dying mother which is amazing because we didn't think she would necessarily make it this long.

I have to tell you though....it just doesn't feel right. Perhaps it is just the time of year. Perhaps it is the time of man. But, it just feels....heartless. There is no thump thump. My blood has gone cold and we are wondering where we went wrong.

Should we have stayed in North Carolina? It is just because of the up coming election? What are we trying to do anyway>?

Good question.