Possessed golf carts

Yesterday I could have lost Jesse. He was at work, moving lumber into a garage with a co-worker. There was a golf cart under some blankets that needed to be moved out of the way, so Jesse kneels down next to it and turns the key to start it. Well, it started alright, and shot full throttle straight ahead right through a closed garage door! And I mean through a garage door. He kept his wits about him, like usual, and was able to pull the cart back to turn it off. It was so scary and bizarre!

Here is a picture of the golf cart.



Here is a picture of the garage door.




Jesse's boss Dave is standing in this picture and if you notice he is smiling. Thank goodness that he can find the humor in a situation like this. The whole crew came over amazed and astounded and started snapping pictures. Jesse was still pretty shaken when he came home.

Of course, later, some of the folks that live on the property tell him that the golf cart is named Wally and almost killed the mother of one of the workers. I guess it has some sort of acceleration problem where the pedal sticks down and doesn't come up unless you pull it up! They jokingly made reference to Steven Kings' Christine.

I am just so glad that no one was hurt.

Getting ready for winter

Recently we have gotten out and about Raleigh meeting up with some very wonderful homeschool families. The funny thing is, most families are transplants as well! It really makes for some great conversations. Last week, we went to Pullen Park and had a nice time. It is a great park with a carousel, paddle boats, and even a small train. Most things were closed due to the fact that they were preparing for their winter holiday. But we hung around on the playscapes and had fun. I still can’t believe that it is December and we are still able to go to the park!
Our latest focus has been the holidays. We are thinking about gifts and looking for creative ways to package and send things. This means we have been home a lot and that has been very good since Fiona has been quite content to stay here. Even the mention that we all might go somewhere has been throwing her into a tantrum.
Last Saturday, Athena baby sat and Jesse, Shillelagh and myself went out for a few hours. We even went to a restaurant to have lunch. It was very nice!



It really started to look like winter this weekend. The sky was sort of that boring and helpless gray color. It made me feel sort of sad. But then I saw our new neighbor started clearing the lot right next to our house. It was awesome to see them drive the excavator and bobcat, pushing over trees and carrying mounds of debris. The owner is a single mom with 2 kids. She was very friendly and had all of her family helping her out. Her son is 15 and was driving the bobcat quite a bit while she ran around taking pictures of him. They plan on being in by February. If we are still here, it will be nice to have some neighbors so close by. We have also seen more birds than usual. There is the cutest little Phoebe that sits on the edge of our pool and occasionally dives. It usually hangs around for a while in the mornings. There are a lot of Titmice eating the teeny tiny acorns of the oaks in our yard and flocks of Juncos scavenging the ground. Yesterday, we were delighted to see a small gathering of Blue birds in our front yard. We have a huge row of windows along the front of the house so everyone parked themselves in front to watch all of the birds flittering about. It made me feel like I was home.

Silence- it still happens

It is so amazing what you can get used to. When we first arrived here, the whole world seemed like a different place. It was so dark that I could see so many stars, the sky seemed to go on forever. The air smelled different and the water tasted funny.When we awoke the first morning here, the sounds we heard were brand new and sounded so strange. There were cows mooing, a weird howling sound which we now know as dogs barking (it just seems to echo strangely). There was even the sound of a donkey braying! Now, as I stand on the front porch and watch the sun rising up through the trees alighting all the morning dew and mist, I realize the biggest and strangest sound of all. The silence. The quite stillness of a standing tree or a blade of grass as the warmth of the morning sun encourages it to move. It is so healing.
Back in CT we lived right off of busy Route 6 and there was a constant stream of traffic, from 2 in the afternoon to 2 in the morning. You would always hear someone driving. On some days we were lucky enough that the traffic was light, but there was always the other sounds that people make. Saws, lawnmowers, leaf blowers, people arguing, music (good or bad!), dogs barking. Then, we have 4 kids! Like we ever get a moment of silence LOL!
Out here in the boonies, well close enough to it, I get to remember what silence is. Right after Jesse leaves for work, and after I have nursed both little ones back to sleep for a little while, I can hear the silence. I am so lucky to have the opportunity. I can let it enter my being to help quite all of my internal chatter. For a few moments anyway. Then I hear “Fee Fi Fo Fum, watch out cuz here I come! “ echo through the house and I know my therapy session has ended. But the great part is, it is right outside my door whenever I need it.

OT- A very interesting story!

Exploring North Carolina

We have gotten out exploring this week. We took a drive downtown to the North Carolina Museum of Natural Science and were thoroughly overwhelmed with all that we saw. The drive to Raleigh was an eyeful in itself.

There is so much building going on in Wake County. It seemed like every 2 miles down route 401 there was a new plaza being built with a Food Lion (a local grocery store chain) on one side and a Rite Aid on the other. Never mind all of the housing developments! There were townhouse developments and large house developments all over. This place is really growing. The driving is fairly easy. Since everything is spread out it makes things easy to find and get to. Down town was easy to drive through and easy to park in.

The science museum was awesome with 4 floors of fun stuff to explore including a new Dinosaur exhibit that left us with our heads spinning. They have a butterfly room, a toddler room with a huge active beehive to check out and tons of hands on stuff for all. One room I want to go back and explore is the Naturalist room. It’s for kids 8 and up and is filled with museum specimens that you can touch and tons information on them. That was the last room we went to and the kids were just too beat to even look at it. The museum is so chock full of stuff that we could visit every week for 6 months and not get bored. And it was free! Then across the plaza they have the North Carolina Museum of History. We will tackle that another day.

Yesterday it poured like crazy for most of the morning so Jesse got the day off. He took us to the farm that he is working on and we went on a shopping trip to Walmart Supercenter. I can’t believe I am shopping here on a regular basis! It is the only place, well besides Super Target, to buy things like clothing and pillows. But we took the long way to Walmart and had another look around.

Now we just need to find some people to play with:)

Meet our new neighbor. We originally met on our front porch but we also met while hooking up our hammock. The website states that they grow to about an inch long, but they are much longer. Probably around 3 inches! It’s about 70 today and there are so many insects and butterflies around. They mowed the foot long grass today so we have been outside enjoying this wonderful weather.

It is sort of strange in this piedmont region. It reminds me of Cape Cod how the trees are smaller and the earth is shades of tan and red. I keep expecting to see the water right around the corner but we are in a drought so it is more like the desert. The house is large and is basically a fancy double wide trailer home. There are lots of them around here. It seems like in the last 5-7 years there have been a lot of housing developments that have popped up using these pre-fabricated homes on large properties. We can’t even see our closest neighbor with all the distance and trees between us. But there are plenty of grasshoppers, katydids, crickets, and vultures to keep us company LOL! Thank goodness I haven’t seen any fire ants as of yet. It makes me wonder what the spring and summer weather will bring.

We didn’t make it out of the house today. The kids are still in settling in mode and aren’t very interested in going anywhere to meet anyone. I have checked into homeschool groups and we are going to have to travel at least 30-45 minutes to see anyone. Something that has kept them comfy and feeling like home is the fleece blankets they got right before we left CT. Our good friend Jen makes them and they are soft, cozy and fabulous. Each child has their own and I have been sharing with Shillelagh! They snuggled with them the whole way down and have been seen wrapped in them in some fashion on a daily basis. I will have to post a picture!

Louisburg, North Carolina

So here we are in Louisburg, NC. I am still somewhat in shock that we are here. The drive took us about 16 hours including stops and was absolutely beautiful. We drove down the mountainous routes instead of I95 and it was well worth it. From the mist filled valleys of Pennsylvania to the gorgeous mountain ranges of Virginia. Everything was so colorful and rich. I rode with the dog, Athena, Fiona and Shillelagh. Jesse drove the moving truck and Huckleberry rode with him. The truck was extremely heavy. It was filled with tools and scaffolding from the construction company, plus our stuff. At best he traveled 70 mph down hill while at worst 30 mph. Never mind the constant shaking! It was definitely a stressful drive, but it wasn’t much different that any normal bad day at our house. I’m not quite sure what that says about a typical Gallagher day LOL!

The house is enormous and so is the yard. We are having fun stretching out and exploring. We are about 10 minutes from just about anything. Everything is so spread out and very rural. That also means that dial up is our only internet option. UGH!

Athena isn’t too happy about the library in Louisburg. It is so much smaller than Bristol, but it has an amazing array of books that you wouldn’t necessarily find on the shelf in CT. It has been 2 weeks since we arrived and I am trying to get us to a play date with some other homeschoolers around here.

It is just so weird, but I haven’t seen many children around here. Perhaps we just have to travel to Raleigh to see some. We plan on getting to the science museum tomorrow and will explore Raleigh then. I can’t believe that it’s actually free to get into the museum! There seems to be so much going on in the triangle area. Unfortunately, gas prices aren’t too different around here. Although, I have to be careful. I traveled 5 miles yesterday and the prices varied by $.10 a gallon. I also haven’t found much of a difference in grocery prices. The dairy prices are definitely higher here.

We celebrated Athena’s 13th birthday last Thursday. It was fairly simple, like usual, but she seemed very happy. When Jesse and I used to talk about what our lives would be like when Athena turned 13, we never envisioned this!

Athena and Huckleberry are truly enjoying the luxury of having their own bedrooms. After all the years of sharing, the rooms are their retreat from the world and from each other. The only rule I have is no food and that isn’t any problem for them. Fiona has resorted to watching every movie we own and rarely wants to leave the house. Today we are going to go out and buy some more movies. That will get her out!

Shillelagh's 1st Birthday

Happy Birthday Baby! I can't believe it's been a year already. What a ray of sunshine:)

these last meetings

Today was baseball in Cheshire and we all had a really good time. Huck hit a homerun and Athena did some pitching, while Fiona wandered and played all over the playground with Shillelagh toddling behind. It was wonderful to catch up with everyone since we have been too busy to get together like we used to.

Something that I am happy for about our move is that we will be able to invite people over again! We will finally have room and the kids will get to share more of themselves with friends.

Athena had her last Knit Wit group meeting at the library this evening. She was nervous about telling others about our move, but it came out and all went well. Those ladies have been so supportive and caring to my big girl.

Tomorrow is a housework catchup day so we should be home, besides a short trip to the grocery store, all day. My main project is to find my to do list! LOL! You know things are hectic when you lose your to do list.

Tonight we visited Jesse's Aunt Maryanne and cousins Kelly and Stacey. She was so generous to feed our huge family and also celebrated all the kids birthdays with a wonderful chocolate cake. I am completely stuffed!

Stacey got herself a dog, a Japanese chin, named Rupert. He is absolutely adorable, very friendly and extremely smart.

Today I found a link to a really neat site. Not only can you download audio books, but, I could even do some reading myself! I have always toyed with the idea of reading books and taping them. Jesse, the kids, and even Dan, Jesse's brother, have said they really like the way I read a story. Karen told me about these books being available to read. Perhaps I will try it out after the move.

Packing begins

I made a decent loaf of bread last night! I am so happy that I am progressing to the decent stage. The changes I made were adding bread flour, finally, and using milk powder. I find the milk powder easier because that is what the recipe calls for and I think I wasn’t measuring the liquids correctly using plain old milk.

Yesterday was our first day of official packing. The kids were wonderful and went through all of the stuff in their room and sorted and cleaned. It’s feels good to be started, but the crazy worrying has also begun. I woke up at 4:30 this morning and couldn’t stop thinking about how I could cram all the stuff I want to do today in 8 hours with 4 kids. Ugh! So I tried to just let it all go and concentrated on my breathing. It helped a lot. Finally, this stuff is beginning to work after all the years of practice.

The one thing we are doing today is going to visit my mother and father. Fiona and Shillelagh got some new costumes from the Good Will thanks to their Daddy and they will be wearing them today. They are just so adorable it hurts sometimes.

Athena has made some plans for a get together with her best friend, Nikki and her sister Emmy. They will come over in a couple of weeks and hang out for the day. Nice and simple. Maybe we will make our own pizzas, watch a silly movie, play some games. Whatever they desire!

My bread machine

I bought myself a bread machine at Good Will. I had done some research online to limit my options and went with one that I hadn’t heard of. Of course it doesn’t have it’s manual, and while I have tried to find it on the web, I am not having much luck. But, I have found such wonderful sites for what I call bread machining! The Hill Billy Housewife has a wonderful start off page. She has so much info on her site, I use it on a weekly basis. Then I found this site that is for all bread machine users. Absolutely fantastic! There is a whole beginners section that goes through the machine, the dough, the bread, step by step. Never mind an email list to ask questions, share recipes and all sorts of other good stuff. All the information I need right at my fingertips.

My loaves are okay. That’s it, just okay. But I know that my first problem is that I am not using bread flour, just the old cheapy all purpose junk. So I went on an explore on the Internet to King Arthur Flour and fell absolutely in love. I just love a company that is so complete in their knowledge of their product and stands behind it. There is just so much for me to learn.

I thought this would be a good start because our family just loves bread. Well, Jesse did work at a bakery for 16 years! When we were first married, he always brought home bread and I had never tasted anything so wonderful. My mom always bought grocery store bread and sometimes grocery store bakery rolls and bagels. I just didn’t realize what a difference their was.

Our family favorite used to be their french baguette, but it isn’t the same anymore. It is much better than any grocery store bakery, but not as powerful as it was in the old days. Now my mission is to reproduce that glorious bread at home. While I was trying to make it by hand, I realized I just don't have the time to learn the art of making bread by hand right now. I am lucky if I get all of our regular meals cooked! The bread machine cost 20$ and I feel it will be a great learning tool.

I am off to a slow start, but I am learning so very much.

Our boy's 10th birthday

Yesterday was Huckleberry’s 10th birthday. It is so amazing that 10 years have gone by so quickly. He is almost as tall as me, wears shoes almost Jesse’s size and is long and lanky. He still has his sweet beautiful smile, tons of freckles and always looking for the joking angle! We celebrated with our neighbors with some cake and hot wings (Thank you Bill!!) and a fire. It was relaxed and fun for everyone. The weather was a little gray, but that didn’t stop them from playing tag, hide and go seek and all the other games they played. Huckleberry was very satisfied with it all! We gave him a Nintendo DS which Athena accompanied with the game Pokemon Diamond, some more Pokemon and Yu Gi Oh cards to add to his collection, a hand made bracelet, and a new play sword. Never mind spending the previous in Hartford with Bill and the boys for a hockey game.

When he finally came in at 9:30, he was covered with dirt and smiling from ear to ear. What a great day!

It's just complicated

Last night I went out to dinner with my sisters and my mother for a girls night out. It was the first time we have ever done something like this. It was very strange to be with my sisters and my mom in this way. It was almost like they were coworkers, but with less familiar knowledge of each others lives. The funny thing is, besides my mother, I was the one with the most visible gray hair!

My mother has been diagnosed with cancer, so my sister has come up for a visit from South Carolina. It all seems so strange. The knowledge that my mother’s life expectancy is shorter that ever before is affecting me in ways that I just never imagined. It is as if I am carry around this heavy load that makes it so hard to think clearly or function in a semi-detached manner. My appetite is up and down and I keep getting caught up in worry cycles of my identity.

I don’t think that it is just her having a rapidly growing cancer (her diagnosis has given her 6-12 months to live) but the fact that we are moving to North Carolina on the 29Th of this month. I was so very excited when we found out we were going to move. All expenses paid for at least a year and Jesse keeps on working. What could be bad about that? Well, my mom having cancer, that’s what. There’s this old voice in my head saying “See,the move was just too good to be true. Something bad just had to happen to even it all out.” Isn’t that some sick thinking. Or maybe just some rationalization so that I don't ever get too big in the head.

See, I told her about the move after she had been to the doctors and knew something terrible was up. Though she didn’t tell me. Instead she said that is was a great opportunity for our family and what a great experience it will be for the kids. That she was going to miss us so much, but that was just her being selfish. I should have known something was up when she said that. She waited to tell me that they found “something” until the week after I told her about our move.

Perhaps it is just her generation. I am not sure if it is denial or lack of self importance to those around you. Everything has been hush hush. Then again, everything always has been hush hush! She will let you know if you ask, but the subject is never broached. When I asked her how she was feeling the other day, she mentioned that her legs hurt at night so she took one of the pain pills they gave her. She didn’t want to take too many, she said, because you could get addicted to them. Then, when I go over with the kids, she still has the comics for the kids, ice cream, something she baked. She gets up to get the play dough, drinks, what ever the kids or I need. I ask myself, am I supposed to stop her from doing this? No. She wants to do it. If my mom didn’t want to do it anymore, she wouldn’t . Why make her feel incapable? She has been a great role model when it comes to being acceptant of what God gives you and staying strong.

Child Interrupted

I just finished reading Susanna Kaysen's biography "Girl Interrupted" after watching the movie a few nights ago. I can't really explain my connection to this movie. After all, it's about an insane teen and I was never insane. Although, there were many times people probably thought I was. I really was pleased at her questions about sanity as well and the mind and the brain.

This seems to come at a good time too. I have been revisiting our approach to homeschooling and how affective the methods we use have been to the kids. While they are very conscious of their social interactions and they have a high emotional awareness, they still feel fear when "called out", so to speak. They feel like they don't know enough and that they aren't smart when in regards to academics. For example, Huckleberry and Jesse were playing Yu GI Oh. Everything was going fine until Huckleberry had to subtract. Jesse walked him through a few things, but it was as if he just gave up after not getting the answer right on the first try. Perhaps he was embarassed and learning how to deal with that emotion. I just don't know how to teach him that while it is alright to have an emotion about a situation, it isn't always right to act on it. I am hoping that he will have enough life lessons to learn this quickly on his own. This where I have to let go.

While homeschooling has been beneficial in so many ways, this is still a new path for us. The question really is, what is education and what do our kids need to know to succeed in life? It is all a matter of personal judgement really.

Cool morning

It is very chilly and we are off to a beautiful start. The air feels crispy and the sky is cloudless. Autumn is just about here and it is a welcome change.

Shillelagh started walking quite a bit yesterday, taking 6-8 steps at a time. She is so amazing! Walking at the 11th month mark. I am assuming it took a lot out of her because she has been sleepily sitting on the futon for about half an hour. Huckleberry gave her all sorts of his special stuffed animals to snuggle with, Fiona gave her favorite pajama bottoms and Athena has been snuggling close to her while they watch Barney. All these sweet beautiful gems of mine, all together and loving each other. We are so very lucky.

Jesse called last night to report from his journey and he seemed rather sleepy and lonely. We miss him so much. The kids stayed up late to watch Richie Rich and slept in his bed. The small thrills of life can be so much fun.

Without Dad

Jesse left at 4:30 this morning for 4 days and 3 nights in glorious North Carolina! I was sad yesterday at just the thought of him not being around, completely missing my other half. But Huckleberry was really on the spot today. He was very helpful and listened to what I said! We got off to a slow start but we got a little more motivated thinking about what sort of surprises we could have for dad when he gets home on Thursday night.

Here is a picture of me slinging Shillelagh while the kids played.

It was so sweet to see Piper and Fiona chalk drawing while Huck and Athena walked Arthur. They have been playing with chalk quite a bit lately. Fiona really likes spending time with Piper.

It is funny how time works. Why is it that my mom's sickness started right before I told her about North Carolina? Any why is it she is supposed to get the news about the biopsy while Jesse is gone? God works in mysterious ways.

Being the bread baker

So today, I made my third loaf of bread. Well technically it has been 6 loaves . This is the best batch yet. It was so sticky when I was handling it and very light. It puffed down when I opened the oven door while it was rising for the 2nd time.

This bread thing is amazing. It may be just some flour, water, sugar and yeast, but when these ingredients combine, they make something of an expression for the day. All my energy goes into the kneading. What determines the exact amount of flour that you use? The humidity? The heat? My breath? God only knows and I plan to learn more of the ways of bread making . I want to make it every week for the rest of my life.

Some people will do Tarot, but I am more into bread making. It would be easier if the kids were more consistent in their routine. Then I would know just when I had a pocket of time to make it first thing in the morning. Then I could plan my day around the rising and baking. What I need to do is try and stay as consistant as I can be with regards to ingredients. That way I can limit the variables. Some variables will be somewhat out of my control, like the temperature of the room and weather.

I would love to spend some time with an experienced home breadmaker. Some older woman with all of the wisdom of her years that she could talk to me about and pass on. Then I have the chance of passing it on to my kids. That way their path has a chance of being shorter or easier. Well, only if they are listening.

Anger- what is it good for?

I have survived the email bomb.

All body parts and intact and unsinged. The only part hurting is my ego. Well, that was actually hurt with the initial email but I responded with good and hearty cockiness, indifference and, oh yes, hate, which kept me busy until the bomb blew off all facades to my email and I realized that I was being a child yet again. Perhaps it didn't help that the email was from my oldest sister/sibling.

The thing is, I just can't understand why I am so angry and hateful? Yea, there is always history, but it was never anything really big. Just the normal lies, mostly to herself and dishonesty. Wait, isn't that the same thing? No. She just didn't tell me a lot or rather anything for that matter. That was a pattern throughout my childhood for my whole family.

Today I responded with honest emotion and a question. I wonder how this will go and if I will ever stop being angry.

I ask myself, Why does this matter so much? What do I want to get from her? What do I want to do to her and what do I think that will bring?

Perhaps it is just a bad habit of being overly defensive and nasty with sibling. What am I defending? My existence? My right to be in the family? But it really comes out with her. When I talk to any of my other siblings, I think of ways to help them grow and learn. To help them some way. But I don't want to help her. Maybe it's because she thinks she knows it all? What exactly does she know?

Hmmm......much to ponder.

The kids and Jesse have been so great while I am in digestion mode. I am so lucky to have people that understand me and give me room to be myself.

What is really being said

It can be amazing how much can be "read into" an email. One sentence can be interpreted in so many ways. People tend to leave off punctuation, misspell words, while some people don't even use capital letters. This is why I just love to use smiley faces. I am the type of person that needs to see some one's face when they are speaking to see what they are trying to convey. Also, who is actually sending the email and for what reason.

Never mind the fact that I tend to be overemotional. Unfortunately, I tend to misinterpret what I read. Hence the totally offensive email I sent yesterday.

To the average person, the message I received was just short and polite. Somewhat informational, perhaps even positive encouragement. But that isn't what I read. I saw deliberate force of guilt with a complete condescending air. With words like "devastated" followed by "anyway, good luck!".

I felt a little regret about how I responded. But I responded honestly. There is no need for a decoder when it comes to reading my response.

That's why I am awaiting an email bomb of sorts. Every time I open email, I fear it will be there, waiting for it's self destruction on my harddrive. The consequences to my emotional tirade.

Well, I can handle it. It's just family! :)

Labor Day Weekend

We aren't going to do ANY strenuous work this weekend. There have been so many changes happening in the past couple of weeks, we all just need time together. The weather is absolutely perfect. Jesse is home for three days with no painting to do!

Here is to a loving, fun, and wonderful group of people that I get to share this amazing journey of life with.